


Buffalo

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-24
Updated: 2003-03-24
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: "You? A comfort blanket?"





	Buffalo

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Buffalo**

**by:** Columbia 

**Disclaimer:** The only place these characters belong to me is in my imagination. You can sure me there if you want - in my imagination I have lots of money.  
**Category:** Josh/Donna, Romance  
**Summary:** "You? A comfort blanket?"  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Spoiler:** Tiny ones for - ’20 Hours in LA’  
**Author's Note:** This was a long time coming. (Mainly cos I forgot I hadn’t posted it) Thanks to Bluefairy for her betaing and constant support and chatter on msn!

"I have to phone Shalleck. I have to phone Shalleck?"

Leo rummaged through the heap of paper on his desk, trying to figure out what the hell his schedule was. It was always the same after a trip; he never knew where he was. And his assistant wasn’t helping any.

She continued to clear up her boss’s office, ignoring his question.

"Margaret?"

"Yes. You have to phone Shalleck."

"And?"

"And what?"

"What else do I have to do?" asked Leo, frustrated.

"I don’t know."

"Margaret!"

She stood up straight and stared at him, knowing that she had already won this fight.

As she expected, Leo looked at her uncomfortably. "Look I said I was sorry about Florida."

"I’m not mad."

"I had to leave you here. I can’t take you everywhere. There was stuff you had to do."

"I know."

"There’ll be other trips."

"That’s what you said about California."

"Yes."

"Have I been to California?"

"No."  

"Have I been to Florida?" 

"What do you want from me, Margaret?!"

She snorted and went back to tidying. With a sigh, Leo gave up on his stubborn assistant. 

"All right. Just get me Shalleck’s office and then you can go home."

She nodded and began to leave when Leo noticed a post-it on his desk.

_Talk to him about ‘that’._

"Wait a minute," he groaned. "You’d better call Josh first. Tell him I want to see him now."

Margaret narrowed her eyes curiously. "Can I tell him why?"

"Margaret, just go call him would you?"

She nodded and closed the door behind her. Leo sat back in his chair and groaned to himself again. He was not looking forward to this meeting.

"Josh, do you think I tanned?" 

Josh look up from his desk to see Donna leaning against the doorframe.

"Donna, we were there for one day."

"Do you think I did?"

"Yes?"

"You weren’t looking" Donna pouted.

Josh looked up from his desk and frowned. "I didn’t think that mattered."

Donna folded her arms impatiently. "Josh..."

"Yes, yes, Donna, you are the Golden girl of Florida, now leave me alone."

She allowed him a smile. "Can’t yet. You’re still here."

He looked at his watch - 3 am. The clock on his desk said an hour after, and not trusting either of them, he judged it to be somewhere in between. Either way, it was late, and they had just gotten off a never-ending flight from Florida, punctuated by trivia quizzes on daylight sunshine hours and average rainfall. Damn the President and his infamous 24 hour round trips.  

"You can go home. I’m done here."

"No you’re not."

"I’m not."

"Margaret called."

"He wants to see me?"

She nodded. "Right now. What have you done?"

His eyebrows shot up. "Nothing!" he said nervously. "I think so anyway." He racked his brains. "Did I piss someone off on the trip?"

She smirked. "No more than usual I would think. I know I haven’t had to send flowers to anyone lately."

He shook his head, deciding that if he couldn’t remember what he had done, it couldn’t be that bad. "I have no idea. Okay, I better go."

He walked around his desk towards the doorway where she was still standing. "Hey!" he exclaimed, taking in her perfectly alabaster skin. 

"What?"

"Great tan!" he said with mock enthusiasm. 

"Shut up and get outa here."

In his office, Leo was having imaginary conversations with his old friend Noah in his head.

"Hey, Noah. I’m about to ask your only son if he’s screwing his assistant. How much do you hate me right now?"

Margaret saved him from the reply.

"Leo."

"He’s here?"

"Yeah."

"Send him in." Leo got up as Josh walked in, looking too damn carefree for Leo’s liking.

"What’s up, Leo?"

"You look awfully bright for someone who just went through the top one hundred facts of climate change on the East coast."

Josh chuckled, recalling the 3 hour long flight of trivia. "He did well in Florida, Leo. 734’s sewn up. There’s no way the House won’t pass it now."

"I know," said Leo somberly.

Josh frowned. "What happened? Did Tillinghouse back down?"

"This isn’t about 734, Josh. Let’s take a seat."

Leo gestured to the more comfortable armchairs at the other end of the office, and they both sat down. 

"Leo, what’s going on?" Josh asked, alarmed.

"Josh, I’m not 100% comfortable with speaking to you about this..."

"Leo?"

Leo looked his protégé in the eyes, and bit the bullet. "It’s about Donna."

Josh bristled, constantly on the defense after ‘Diarygate’. "What about her?"

"It’s about Air Force 1."

"You just said it was about Donna."

"Don’t play stupid, Josh, it’s about them both."

Josh was thoroughly confused. "I...I’m not playing stupid here, Leo, I honestly don’t have a clue what you’re getting at."

Leo took a deep breath, seeing that his cryptic approach had failed. He was going to have to be more specific, and he had specifically wanted to avoid being specific.

"I’m trying not to be specific here, Josh."

He laughed nervously. "I can tell."

"I try to avoid being specific when it comes to...you and Donna."

Josh’s eyes widened in sudden realization, and he held his hands out as if to field off further questioning. "There is no me and Donna, Leo, if that’s what you’re asking."

"It was. But - not really."

"Leo, you’re making no sense to me right now."

The Chief of Staff got up, thoroughly embarrassed with his performance thus far and deciding that actions speak louder than words. Going into his desk drawer, he pulled out an envelope and handed it to Josh.

His deputy opened the envelope in confusion. Inside he was surprised to find a photo of him and Donna, asleep on AF1. His arms were round her; she was pulled close to him, sitting across his lap.

He opened his mouth, although nothing came out for a few moments.

"I..I..I haven’t, I haven’t seen this before. Who took this?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the photograph."

Leo looked sternly down at him. "A photographer."

"Well, I didn’t think it was a fisherman, Leo -"

"Josh, what you’re looking at happens every time you two get on a plane. People have always accepted it because, to be honest, no one, especially not me had a clue what’s going on with you two half the time. But now people are asking questions, they’re taking photos, they’re sniffing for a story. And we both know nothing sells bigger than sex."

Josh was outraged. "Leo!" he exclaimed, rising to his feet. "I just sat here and told you that nothing-"

"Then what the hell is this all about?" Leo demanded, pointing to the photograph.

"That’s...it is what it is, nothing more!"

"That means nothing to me."

"It’s just...we’re just sleeping, Leo, it’s harmless!"

"It might be harmless Josh, but it doesn’t look it. There might be nothing between you, and I’m not 100% convinced that there isn’t by the way-"

"Leo!"

"-but even if there isn’t, this photo gives an impression."

"Leo, I just told you that there was nothing there, how can you not be 100% convinced?"

"I’m not saying there’s something going on. I believe you that there isn’t. But I’m not convinced that there never will be, and I’m certainly not convinced that you both don’t want there to be." 

Josh had nothing to say to that. Even to appease Leo, he wasn’t prepared to promise that nothing would ever happen between Donna and him. 

Leo was still speaking. "When people see photos like this..."

"What do you mean, "photos like this"?" interrupted Josh. " Do you mean there are more?"

"I don’t know" Leo answered honestly, sitting back down in the armchair. "I know CJ took a photo one time cause she thought it was cute..." 

"Great" muttered Josh, dragging a hand across his face.

Leo watched his deputy pacing around the room for a few moments, lost in thought. Eventually, he broke the silence. "I want to ask some questions."

Josh looked round, surprised. "What kind of questions?"

""You want to sit down?" offered Leo, gesturing to the chair beside him.

Josh eyed the chair warily before sitting down heavily. "What do you want to know?"

He shrugged. "Why do you do it? You must have realized what it looked like."

Josh shook his head. "I didn’t, Leo." He picked up the photo and looked at it again. "I honestly had no idea that it looked like this, I just...it’s just habit now."

"What do you mean? How did it start?"

Josh seemed lost in thought, staring at the photo one minute, and deep into space the next. "She’s scared to fly, Leo."

He shrugged. "Lot’s of people are."

"No, but, she really is. I found that out in the campaign. And ever since that first plane ride..." he laughed nervously. "I don’t know, it’s like I’m a comfort blanket or something."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "You? A comfort blanket."

Josh had to laugh. "I know it sounds strange. I don’t know how else to explain it..."

"Tell me" Leo suggested. "Tell me what happened."

Josh nodded, and took his mind back to the rigorsof the campaign trail. Somehow it had seemed simpler then. It didn’t matter how you acted or what position you slept in on the plane - it was the campaign trail, you slept when and where you could, and people could care less. Only one thing mattered, and they all knew it - ‘Bartlet for America.’

"We were in South Dakota: Sam, Toby, Donna and me."

"It was the month before Ohio?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, we’d just done the South-west, and we were meant to be in New Hampshire, but then Toby brought in those numbers and we felt we had to court New York state for a while."

"Yeah."

Josh leant forward slightly as he got to the main part of his story. "Donna had been avoiding plane rides all over the place; she drove everywhere. She said it was cause she had to keep her car, she wanted to sell it, and I believed her. But then I needed to get back to Nashua, like that day, and I needed my assistant to come. I couldn’t wait for her to follow me in her rusty car, so I booked us two tickets for the next plane. The flight was in the morning and we’d been on the road all day in the pouring rain. Eventually, the only place we could find was this motel in Buffalo..." 

Buffalo, NY, ‘Bartlet for America’ campaign trail.

"Sam!" Toby yelled from the reception desk.

"What?" came the gruff reply as a dripping wet Sam lugged the bags through the door. He and Donna had been thoughtfully left by Toby and Josh to carry all the stuff from the rental car, and by the looks on their faces they weren’t best pleased about it.

Toby walked over to Sam and took the bags. "Go charm that receptionist, would you? She’s insisting there’s no rooms."

Sam sighed and went off to work his magic.

Meanwhile, Donna shoved Josh’s bag at him. "Whoa! What’s with you?"

She said nothing, just glared at him from behind tangled tendrils of wet hair.

"Okay" he said. "Okay. You’re wet and cold. You need sleep. I understand. You’d rather we stayed here than moved on."

"Josh. We **are** staying here. I don’t care if we have to sleep in the supply closet, okay, there is no way-"

"Donna-"

"There is **no** way I am getting in that car again, it leaks, Josh, it’s leaking on my foot-"

"It’s okay," said Josh, "I’m sure there’ll be rooms."

She narrowed her eyes and hissed "There better be."

Josh took a step back nervously. "I’ll...just go see how Sam’s getting on."

"Why don’t you do that."

He did. Donna sighed and looked over to Toby, who was uncharacteristically smiling at her. She considered saying "And what do you think you’re looking at?" but thought better of it. She wasn’t in such a bad mood that she’d stopped being scared of Toby. Instead she just smiled back and settled for a simple "What?"

"I like you" he stated. "I like how you walked into his life and told him to shut up and get on with it. I like how when he shouts, you just shout back."

"It’s the only way to handle him."

"I like how you know that."

Donna paused, she knew what he said made sense, but she had no idea why, and also, there was also that nagging doubt at the back of her mind.

 "I left." She said. She knew she had been lucky to get her job back when she had returned to the campaign. She’d tried to get on with it, but deep down she worried that people still looked at her like she was a quitter.

"You came back." Toby stated.

Donna nodded. "Yeah."

Sam and Josh were back. Sam cleared his throat. "Well. Here’s the story. They have rooms."

"Great!" said Donna, beginning to cheer up.

"Don’t get too excited," warned Josh. "They only have two."

Toby groaned. "Great."

Donna looked at the ground, knowing that the only reason they weren’t jumping at the prospect of a warm bed was because she was there, and she was female.

"Do they have two single beds in each?" she asked Sam.

"Yeah."

"Then let’s just stay."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked. 

"Yeah. Let’s just get upstairs can we?"

"Sure."

When they were outside the doors, it was no longer possible to put off the question of who Donna was going to share a room with. She herself was resolved to have no part in it, and stared resolutely at the floor. 

"Well" Josh cleared his throat. "Donna, you might as well bunk up with me. We’ll probably work quite late anyway."

"Okay." She answered, thanking him with a smile for making it as less awkward as possible. 

"Right." said Toby. "Let’s sleep. We’ll see you guys in the morning. Sam, if you snore, I swear I'll kick you out."

"Excuse me? I do not snore..."

They went into their room, still arguing. 

"Let’s get in," said Josh.

He unlocked the door, and they went into the room.

Donna dumped her stuff on the bed on the far side of the room and sat down. Josh sat on the bed opposite.

"If you think I’m working tonight..."

"I wasn’t serious. I was just..."

"I know."

"You want a shower?"

Donna nodded and got up.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked.

"Yeah. Yeah. I’m tired, and cold. I’m fine."

"Okay."

But when she came out of the bathroom half and hour later, dressed in an old T-Shirt and pants, she still had that look on her face that made Josh want to gather her up in his arms.

"Hey" he greeted her.

"Hey." 

She sat down on the bed and promptly got up again, heading for the mini-bar. "I need a drink."

"Donna."

"Hm-mm?" she asked, her words obscured by a miniature scotch.

"Are you..."

She replaced the empty bottle and took another one.

"Are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah." She came and sat next to him on the bed. "I wish we didn’t have to fly tomorrow."

"It’s the quickest way," said Josh casually, not noticing how she had turned a little paler. 

"Yeah, but, you know, we could die."

Josh looked at her in surprise. "Are you serious about this?" She’d mentioned before that she was scared of flying, but he’d never really taken much notice - a lot of people admitted to some sort of fear of flying.

She nodded.

"You’re really scared of flying?"

She nodded again.

"It’ll be fine. Come on, it’s safer than a car."

"It doesn’t feel like it."

"You have flown before then?"

"Once. Well, twice. We went to Italy when I was ten."

"And..."

"Going there was fine. I was a little nervous, but I was fine."

"But coming back you weren’t fine."

She shook her head. "Um...the plane caught fire. We almost crash landed."

"Wow. That must have been scary."

"It caught fire near the end. We were practically at the airport so it was fine but...you know, I was ten."

"Yeah."

"The uh...the plane was going like that" she made a fluctuating motion with her hand. "The lights were going on and off, the mask things were down, people were screaming."

"Wow." 

"I...uh..." she laughed nervously. "I haven’t been in a plane since."

"Really? You haven’t flown since you were ten?"

"No."

"It’ll be fine." Josh reassured her. "Come on, get some sleep."

"Okay" she said, going over to her bed and climbing under the covers. Josh switched off the light.

"G’night."

"Night."

There was a silence as they tried to get comfortable on the hard motel beds. 

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

Thanks for not laughing at me."

He smiled to himself in the dark. "You’re welcome. Night."

"Night."

It can’t have been more than a couple of hours later when Josh was rudely awoken by a noise from Donna. It took him a few moments to recognize the cries and thrashing around that were the universal signs of a nightmare, but when he did he was out of bed like a shot and shaking her awake. 

"Donna? Donna!"

But she only continued to toss and turn more violently, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"Donna! Wake up!" He shook her shoulders. "Donna?"

Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she gasped for breath.

"Josh!" she cried, her breath coming out in ragged sobs. She put her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest. "Josh..."

"Shh" he murmured. "It’s okay, I’m here."

He held her until her sobs subsided, and she started to pull away. "I’m sorry..." she began.

"Don’t be. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She took a deep breath and shook her head. "It was just a nightmare."

"What about?" he asked gently.

She bit her lip and looked away. "Nothing."

"Was it about flying?"

She nodded dumbly.

"Donna, you know it’s gonna be fine. I promise you it’s gonna be fine" he said softly.

She nodded again.

Josh sighed. "Maybe...I don’t know, maybe...if this is gonna be a thing for you, you should just drive."

"You need me in Nashua, not Buffalo."

"I can get someone else for a bit. I can wait for you."

"Josh...thank you. But you need me in Nashua. Plus, I need to get over this thing. Face your fear, right?"

"Yeah."

"I can do it. I can do it." 

"Are you sure it’s okay?"

"Yeah. The flights are booked; I’m on the plane. I’ll be fine."

"Okay." He looked around the dark room, unwilling to leave her. They looked at each other for a while before Donna pulled the covers around her. "We should get some sleep."

"Yeah." Josh stood up. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah."

"It’ll look much better in the morning, I promise."

"I know."

Josh climbed back into his own bed. "If you need me I’m right here, okay?"

"Okay" replied Donna; struck by this caring side she had somehow suspected her boss had. 

The next morning, Josh opened his eyes to bright sunshine streaming through the windows, and the sound of Donna already moving around the room.

He stretched in his bed, watching her walk into the bathroom to collect some toiletries and come out again.

"Hey" she said, noticing that he was awake.

"Good morning. How long have you been up?"

"Long enough to get packed."

"I should probably do that."

"I’ve done yours too."

"Donna, how long **have** you been up?"

"Long enough to do our packing."

"You couldn’t get back to sleep?"

"I did. For a while. But I woke up again."

"You still thinkin’ about the flight?"

"It’s kinda hard to put it out of your mind" Donna replied. "Kinda like going to the chair. You need to get up."

"Donna, it is **nothing** like going to the chair."

"Have you ever been to the chair?"

"Have **you**?"

 "You need to get up. There’s a café across the street. We’re meeting Toby and Sam for breakfast."

Josh considered whether to push his argument further before thinking better of it and getting up. "I’m up."

"Get a shower."

"Okay."

Sam sighed in exasperation, regarding the silent man sitting beside him. He picked sullenly at the label of the ketchup bottle before being able to stand the silence no longer. 

"I didn’t even..."

"You snored" Toby answered.

Sam sighed again. "It’s not my fault, okay? I’m recovering from a cold. My sinuses are blocked."

"Sam. I had to listen to you all yesterday. I have to listen to you all day today in the car, and by God, I had to listen to you all last night, so why don’t we make breakfast a sacred time."

"You bet."

They sat in silence until a bell on the door signaled the arrival of their friends.

Josh walked in as he always did, surveying the scene as if he owned it. Donna as usual matched his pace, although she looked more hassled and worried than usual.

"Hey" greeted Josh sliding into the booth opposite.

"Good morning" Sam replied. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah" said Donna quickly, ignoring an inquiring glance from Josh. "You?"

"No" snapped Toby.

Josh and Donna looked at Sam for an explanation.

"I have blocked sinuses" he supplied

"Whatever" said Josh, none the wiser. "Okay, what’s the plan."

"To get some breakfast I hope," said Toby.

"We ordered for you, hope you don’t mind."

"I’m not really that hungry" interrupted Donna. The thought of food just made her feel ill when coupled with the thought of what she had to do that day.

"Come on, Donna, you have to eat" coaxed Josh. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

She nodded.

"Are you all right?" asked Sam. 

Josh explained. "Donna’s a little nervous about flying."

"Josh!" hissed Donna."

"Ah. Is this one of those things you don’t like to talk about?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

Sam smiled at her. "Donna, let me assure you there is nothing to worry about. You know, it’s safer than a car."

"People keep saying that, it doesn’t really help. It just makes me more scared to be in a car."

"Good point," said Toby. 

"So" said Josh, just as a waitress came up with their orders. "What’s the plan? You’re staying here till..."

"We’re here till Tuesday" replied Sam. "We’re driving to Rhode Island Wednesday, back in Nashua by Friday. Donna, anything we should know about your car?"

"It leaks on your foot on the drivers side."

"You’re driving," said Toby.

"Thanks" replies Sam. 

Donna sipped miserably at her coffee as Josh consumed a plate of fried food. Noticing the lack of jibes from Donna about his diet, Josh nudged Donna playfully in the ribs, hoping to cheer her up.

"Josh!" she admonished, but at least she was smiling now.

"Hey" he said, catching her eyes. "It’s gonna be fine." He looked at his watch. "Did you order a cab for the airport?"

"Of course. It should be here any minute."

Exactly on cue, a minicab pulled up outside the café. 

"That’s us." Josh quickly swallowed the last of his fried egg. "You got the bags?"

"Yeah."

"Let’s go." He stood up. 

"See you Friday!" Sam called after them.

"Bye"

By the time they reached the airport, Josh noticed that Donna had managed to shred the napkin from the café into a hundred pieces.

"Hey" he said, brushing them off her lap. "We’re here."

They got out of the cab and into the terminal without a word. By the time they were going through the x-ray machines, Donna still hadn’t spoken.

"Are you alright?" asked Josh.

Donna nodded. "So far I’m trying to convince myself I’m just seeing you off somewhere."

"How’s it working out?"

"I’m not convinced."

"Neither am I. Let’s go into the departure lounge," he said, leading them that way.

"Or the bar" said Donna, pulling them the other.

"Donna - come on."

"Seriously, one drink. I think it could help."

"No deal. I don’t want you so drunk they won’t let you on the plane."

"That works for me. Anyway, you’re confusing your sensitive system with my constitution of a steel elephant."

"I want it to be noted that it was not me that just called you an elephant there okay? So you can’t hurt me for that reason."

"Josh, believe me when I tell you that if you make me board this plane, I’m gonna be hurting you for pretty much whatever reason I want."

Josh looked at her for a moment. "Donna" he said quietly. "Donna, come on. There’s no way I’d ever make you do anything you didn’t want to do."

She looked straight back into his eyes. "I know. I know. Okay. I can do this."

The departure lounge was kind of deserted which disappointed Donna a little, as she thought it would be nice to be able to lose herself in a crowd. On the other hand, if she starting hyperventilating or something, as she highly suspected she might, it was probably a good thing there weren’t a lot of people there.

At every little noise, her head jerked up, thinking their flight was being called. Josh watched her closely, wondering if it would be grossly stepping over the boss/assistant line if he took her hand. On the other hand, he had held her in his arms last night after her bad dream. But then, that had been last night, and things that happen under cover of darkness have a way of not showing themselves in the light. To hell with it, he thought on the fifth head jerk. He reached over and took her slightly shaking hand in his, relieved to see a grateful smile cross her face. What seemed like instants later, their flight was called. 

Donna inhaled sharply, and seemed to be murmuring to herself. Josh picked up their bags and pulled her to her feet, not letting go of her hand once she was up.

She seemed to be having trouble focusing. "Josh..."

"Donna? Are you okay?"

She shut her eyes, and when she opened them she seemed much clearer, but just as afraid. "Ohh..." she moaned. "Josh, I don’t know if I can do this."

"I know you can. You don’t have to -" Josh quickly amended, "but I know you can."

"I do have to. I have to get over this thing."

"Donna..." he took both of her hands. "Do you trust me?"

She looked surprised, but didn’t have to hesitate. "Of course."

"I can’t promise you that nothing is gonna go wrong on this flight..."

"Way to pick me up, Josh."

" **But** I can promise you I’m gonna be with you this whole time and I’m gonna do everything in my power to help you, okay?"

She smiled slightly and nodded. "Okay."

"Let’s go."

She nodded, feeling like a little girl again. "Okay."

With a hand placed lightly in the small of her back, Josh led them both through the gate.

Donna looked around her nervously. "And - this corridor is suspended in mid-air, correct?"

Josh laughed lightly. "It’s attached to things, Donna, don’t worry about it."

"Okay."

"Okay, here we go," he said as they approached the plane.

"Josh..." Donna moaned. By this time she was shaking so much, Josh thought to hell with the consequences, and took her hand in his. He led her into the plane and gave their boarding passes to the cabin crew to show them to their seats, all the while trying to chat to Donna to keep her distracted.

"This is gonna be over soon by the way, after November it’s gonna be the high life - no more grotty campaign buses, no more third-class seats - it’s gonna be limousines, Donna, and it’s gonna be Air Force 1."

"Air Force 1 is still a plane. It still goes, you know, up."

"But it does it in style."

"Okay."

They had found their seats. Josh thanked the steward and turned to Donna. "You want a window seat?"

Donna just looked. "No."

"Okay, I’ll take the window."

Josh sat down, but Donna remained standing, eyeing the emergency exits and causing a back-up of passengers behind her. Josh reached out a hand to her. "Donna, you have to sit down, people can’t get past you."

She immediately turned to apologize to the people behind her, and took his hand. 

"Donna, just think of it as a seat. You’re not on a plane."

"Nice try," she commented, but sat down nevertheless. Looking up at the panel above her head, she shut her eyes, remembering a terrifying episode in her life - people screaming, masks diving down at her from that same panel, her mother tightening her seatbelt till she felt it was going to cut her in half. Someone else shaking her...saying her name...

"Donna?"

A man...it wasn’t her father, her father called her Donnatella, he always called her Donnatella...why Donna?

"Donna?"

Her eyes snapped open and she turned sharply to see a worried looking Josh shaking her gently. "Are you okay?"

She couldn’t get her words out, she had to breathe.

"Donna!"

"I’m okay" she panted. "Sorry, I just kind of...I went back to..."

"It’s okay." Josh said, his brown eyes full of concern. He looked at her searchingly, placing a reassuring hand on her cheek. "Donna, I don’t want to make you do this...I didn’t realize it would be this hard."

She put her shaking hand over his. "I’m gonna be okay," she said, although she didn’t sound overly convinced. "Just...help me out."

"I will," he promised.

Donna spent the fifteen minutes before take-off tightening her seatbelt, making sure the tray was up, reading and re-reading the safety leaflet. This was supervised by a vigilant Josh, who took her hand every time she got too freaked out, every time she wanted to jump off the plane.

Suddenly, the plane stopped taxiing along the runway, and Josh knew from God-knows how many plane flights over the years that it was about to take off. 

"Donna," he said gently. "I think we’re about to take off now."

She looked at him in alarm, gripped the armrests with both hands and shoved her head flat back against the headrest.

Her eyes squeezed shut more tightly as the plane gathered speed and her knuckles grew white. As Josh felt them start to rise off the ground, he prized her hand off the armrest and threaded her fingers through his own. A few moments later, Donna realized she had been holding her breath, and let it out in a ragged gasp. She forced her eyes open, and slowly turned her head to focus on Josh. 

"You’re doing great," he smiled.

As the plane finally reached its cruising altitude, the seatbelt signs flicked off and the cabin became alive as people settled down, spread out and pulled down tables to work or read.

As Josh expected, Donna did not relax as the rest of the plane had. Releasing his own seatbelt, he pointed to hers. "The light’s off, Donna, you can take it off if you want."

She was still deathly pale. "I don’t think that’s likely, do you?"

"Just a thought."

"I’m still not 100% convinced about how this thing is staying in the air."

"Probably best not to think about it."

"Yeah."

"Hey," he said, causing her to turn and look at him. "I think you’re being amazing. I’m really proud of you right now."

She smiled, slightly embarrassed, but pleased. "Thank you."

Josh smiled, then looked away again, slightly uncomfortable.

For the next two hours, the flight progressed without a hitch, although Donna made a point of not loosening her seatbelt the whole time. She tried to concentrate on her book, while Josh made a start on reading some of the mail that had been forwarded to him since they had been in South Dakota.

She was just beginning to settle down when a voice sounded over the intercom. 

"Ladies and gentleman. We have just received news that we may be experiencing some turbulence up ahead. Please fasten your seatbelts until further notice. Thank you."

And the light flicked back on.

Josh immediately began to reassure Donna, who had begun to tremble even at "Ladies and gentlemen."

"It’s okay. This happens all the time. It’ll just be a bit bumpy, absolutely nothing to worry about, okay?"

She looked at him, although he was sure she didn’t see him. "Donna? Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, suddenly very scared again.

"It’s gonna be fine," repeated Josh, wondering what else to say.

There was nothing to do but wait for the turbulence to hit. The waiting was the worst part, thought Donna, because she knew it was coming and there was nothing she could do about it. But when it did hit, all she wanted was to do was to go back in time to when she was waiting.

At the first bump, Josh took her hand, and she used that, like an anchor, to hold her to reality. She knew her mind was going to draw her back to where she didn’t want to go.

Bump. Shake. This was how it was. Right before the announcement, this is how it was. They all thought it was turbulence, her dad told her it was. How could she tell the difference?

...his hand...

 Bump. But even then, she had somehow known that it was more serious, even before she smelt the smoke.

...Josh’s hand...

More bumping. Then the voice again. " Bla bla bla - " she couldn’t remember all the words, just that one phrase... 

" - caught fire. Please don’t panic."

Stupid thing to say, she had thought. Even at the time. "Don’t panic." Because that’s exactly what everyone did. Screaming, hardly audible in Donna’s mind...all she could hear was the constant bumping, shaking, bumping...

...Josh’s hand...

More shaking, then plunged into darkness, then again light, dark, light...then those hideous masks, plunging down at her from what seemed like a great height...

...his hand...

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the visions. And then, as before, she felt tears sneak out from behind tightly shut eyelids.

...Josh’s hand...not enough.

"Josh..." she managed to say.

"I’m here." His voice, cutting through all the mess. 

He saw her tears, feeling completely and utterly helpless. He didn’t think he had been this useless in his life. "Donna..."

She tried to focus on his face, but seemed to be having difficulty. "Help me," she sobbed.

Without hesitation, Josh pulled up the armrest - to hell with precaution, what good was an armrest going to do in a crash except break your ribs - gathered her up in his arms, and pulled her close to him.

She buried her face in his shirtfront, gratefully finding relief. He held her for who knows how long, he couldn’t say how long the turbulence lasted. All that mattered was that he was holding her close to him, murmuring to her, stroking her hair, until eventually her sobs subsided and it was over.

It wasn’t until they landed that he realized they had both fallen asleep like that.

"Donna," he whispered. "We’re on the ground."

Office of the White House Chief of Staff

"And that was Buffalo."

Josh finally lifted his eyes to meet Leo’s. He hadn’t looked at him once throughout the whole story, to be honest he had forgotten he was even there.

Leo’s expression was unreadable. It was a few moments before he realized that was the end of the story. "So, you held her that one time in Buffalo because she was scared."

Josh nodded. "Right."

"I get that. Anyone would do the same. But that was four years ago, Josh."

"You think she just wasn’t scared after that? Leo, that wasn’t it for her, there were so many more flights, and she was still frightened."

"But even when we were elected? On Air Force 1? With press and God knows who else?"

"I know" he shook his head in disbelief at himself. "I know, I did think, you know, that it was a little...inappropriate, whatever. The first time on Air Force 1, I didn’t set out to act the same way."

"The first time on Air Force 1..."said Leo, trying to remember. 

"It was to Oregon. A one-night stopover, about two months after we were in the White House."

"I remember" he nodded. "That was the time CJ took the picture."

"I didn’t know that. I slept a lot of the time."

"I noticed" replied Leo, with a stern look in his eye.

Josh grudgingly admitted defeat. "I know... we shouldn’t have slept like that, not there." He shrugged. 

"But you did" prompted Leo.

"Yes. We did."

Air Force 1, D.C to Portland, Oregon.

"Hey! You get my bag?"

"Yes master" mumbled Donna, throwing Josh’s backpack , and her own, into the nearest seat.

"What?" asked Josh indignantly, fending off irritated glances from CJ and the rest of the female staff as he walked down the plane towards them.

"You’re a chauvinist pig, Joshua" snapped CJ.

Josh grinned as if this was a compliment. "And proud of it."

CJ rolled her eyes. "Don’t ever let him make you take the bags again, Donna."

"Okay."

"I have to go brief."

Josh looked around at the staff present. Donna had slipped into a seat, and CJ was heading out the door. Bonnie and Ginger stood behind Donna, excitedly discussing the merits of AF1 versus conventional travel. Needless to say, AF1 won hands down every time.

"Where’s Sam and Toby?" Josh said.

"They’re locked up in some office" answered Donna

"They’re still on the speech?"

"Yeah."

"I better go check in with them. Walk me out?"

"Sure"

She got up and matched his pace. 

"Umm.." Josh put his hand on her back and looked around to check they were outside hearing distance. "I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got on." Josh had been unable to accompany Donna on board, something he had always made a point of doing before, ever since Buffalo. He knew that was still one of the hardest parts for her, despite the leaps and bounds she had made in air travel up till now.

"That’s okay" Donna quickly answered, determined not to be a problem on the President’s private plane.

"Leo wanted to drum some things into me, I really needed -"

"Josh! Come on, I understand."

"Were you all right?"

"Yeah" she answered brightly. Actually, her knees had been shaking like hell, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.

"Okay" replied Josh, slightly unsure of whether she was telling the truth.

They had reached the office that Sam and Toby occupied. Looking through the glass doors Josh could see they were hard at work and he knew he should join them.

He looked back at Donna. "Look, I’m going to have to go in there - I’m not gonna be with you for take-off."

"It’s okay, Josh, honestly. I’m sure I’ll be fine"

"I’ll try and be as quick as I can, I -"

"No!" she said firmly. "Don’t stop work just cause of me, just do what you need to, I’ll be fine."

Josh nodded, but still felt uneasy about leaving her on her own. "If you need me, just come get me, or get someone to come get me, okay?"

"I won’t need you. I’ll be fine."

An announcement sounded over the intercom. "Mr President, ladies and gentlemen, could I ask that you take your seats in preparation for take-off."

Donna smiled. "I better go sit down."

"Okay."

She gave him one more reassuring smile before walking away.

"I’ll come find you when I’m done" he called after her.

Watching her walk away, part of him just wanted to follow her and be with her. He knew she was putting on a brave face for him, but in a way that just made it harder to get through to her. The part of him that wanted to follow her despised the fact that he had to leave her. But the other part of him knew that’s what he had to do, so he did, stepping into the office. "Hey guys."

"Where the hell have you been?"

1 hour later

"You can’t put "without exception"!" yelled Toby. "It makes it sound like the Fourth Reich."

"It doesn’t" Sam answered back calmly. "It reiterates the Presidents concern on the issue, it reestablishes the idea of equality, it evokes images of-"

"Mustached Nazis doing the goosestep?"

"I don’t think it does that."

Toby sighed - this was an argument that had been going on for some time now. He turned to Josh. "What do you think?"

"Huh?" answered Josh, staring anxiously at his watch. 

Toby and Sam looked at each other, then back at Josh with irritated expressions.

"Are we keeping you from something?" Toby asked icily.

"No" replied Josh. It had been the same answer to the same question for the past half-hour.

"Okay then. If we could turn our attention back to the speech..."

"Where were we?" Sam asked.

"You were trying to create the Übermenschen." 

The door suddenly swung open and CJ entered. "Hey. How’s it going?"

"Don’t ask" warned Sam.

"The press are asking for drafts."

"Make something up."

"That’s what I’ve been doing." She turned to Josh. "Hey Josh, is Donna okay?"

"Why?" asked Josh, suddenly sitting up straight.

"She looks unwell. It’s probably nothing."

Josh was on his feet. "Listen, you don’t need me for this, right?"

He was out of the door before they could answer.

Josh walked quickly along the plane, trying to make it look like he wasn’t going anyplace important. Eventually he got to the seating area that he assumed Donna had gone back to. He walked down the rows of seats, checking every one for his assistant. Eventually he found her, huddled under a blanket against the wall, shielding her face with the woolen material. 

"Donna?" 

She turned towards him quickly when she heard his voice, and he was alarmed to see that her face was pale and tear-stained. "Josh..." she trembled. "Thank God..."

"Donna" he said, sitting down quickly beside her. "I’m so sorry I was so long." He brushed the hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. "CJ said you looked ill."

"I have to stop this" she whispered. "I thought I was getting better, but I just...you know..." She didn’t want to say that it was because he wasn’t with her that she had been worse.

"I’m sorry" he repeated. "I didn’t mean to be so long..."

"It’s not your fault."

"Donna?" CJ’s voice came from behind Josh, but he didn’t bother to remove his hand from Donna’s face.

CJ looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I’m fine" she replied, before realizing this wasn’t going to wash with CJ. "I mean, I don’t feel too good, but I’ll be fine."

"Do you need anything?" the older woman asked.

Donna shook her head.

"Okay. You should get some sleep."

"Okay."

CJ left the two of them alone, smiling to herself at Josh’s obvious concern.

Josh looked nervously around him as he stroked Donna’s pale cheek, all too aware that that was the most comfort he could provide in that environment.

"It’s okay" she smiled slightly. "I know you can’t...we’re on Air Force 1. This isn’t Buffalo."

"I wish I could," he said sincerely, looking straight into her eyes.

She nodded nervously, blushing slightly. They held each other’s gaze for as long as it could be held without becoming awkward, then she looked away.

Unfortunately, as she did, she caught a glimpse of the world below out the cabin window.

She shut her eyes tightly. "Oh God..."

"What?" he asked, alarmed.

"Nothing.." she opened her eyes again. "Nothing...just forgot where I was for a second." She shook her head and forced herself to breathe easily.

"Donna..." said Josh, worriedly.

"I’m fine" she trembled.

"Right" he said, his eyes filled with determination. "Come here."

"Josh" she protested, as he pulled her into his arms, into ‘their’ position.

"Forget about it" whispered Josh into her ear. "Just get some sleep."

"CJ!" 

CJ turned around to see Sam catching up with her.

"Do you have an advance for me, mi compadre?"

"I do indeed" smiled Sam. "Complete with ‘without exception’, I am happy to report."

"Well done."

Their voices instinctively got lower as they moved into a darker portion of the plane, where some staffers were taking the opportunity of a few moments of peacefulness to get some sleep.

"How’s the President?" whispered Sam.

"Annoying everyone within earshot."

"Thanks for the warning."

"No problem."

The suddenly stopped as they came to a row of seats occupied by the Deputy Chief of Staff and his assistant.

"Aw" breathed CJ, and Sam smiled along with her.

They were both fast asleep, her leaning into him, him with his arms tightly around her, his face half-obscured by her hair. They both looked completely at peace, so different from how they had been half an hour ago.

"What are they doing?" whispered Sam.

"You’ve never seen this before?" asked CJ incredulously. To most of them, this had become a familiar sight.

"Yeah, on the campaign, but I didn’t think they’d do that here."

"You think someone might notice and think it’s strange?"

"Don’t you?"

CJ looked at them. "No. The press know them, so do we. It’s just Josh and Donna. Who the hell knows what’s going through their minds."

Sam smiled. It was true. "Come on" he said. "Let’s leave them to it."

"Wait a minute" said CJ, reaching into her bag. "I can’t resist this." She took out a disposable camera.

"CJ!" said Sam. "You can’t take a photo of them asleep!"

"Why not, Spanky?"

"I...don’t know."

"Just a quick one" she replied, aiming the camera and pressing.

** Office of the Chief of Staff **

"I didn’t know she did that" repeated Josh.

"She thought it was cute. God knows why."

"Thanks" Josh replied sarcastically. 

"I think, Josh, of all the things to be worried about here, I really think that my not thinking you cute could really be at the bottom of your list, hmm?"

"You bet."

Josh stood up, something clearly bothering him. Look, I can’t...I don’t understand why this has to be such a big problem. It’s just a photo, and okay, CJ has one too, but she’s not going to leak it to anyone-"

"She has more than one."

"Okay, but my point is that it doesn’t matter!"

"It does matter Josh. I don’t think you realize why."

"You’re right, I don’t."

Leo stood up as well. "Go see CJ."

Josh frowned. "Why?"

"You don’t understand why this matters? Go see her. She knows you’re coming."

"How does she know I’m coming?"

"Well, she will do when I call her ten seconds from now" said Leo, his hand already on the phone.

"Leo..."

"Go."

Josh left, still thoroughly confused.

He was walking through the staff bullpen when a familiar voice stopped him.

"You’re not done yet?"

He turned round. "Donna! Uh...no, I’m not. I have to see CJ. Look, uh, you should...you can go home." He wasn’t sure how to act, now that this thing was up in the air. It’d never been an issue between them before; in fact they’d never even discussed it on the ground.

Obviously, she knew something was wrong. He knew that she would as soon as he opened his mouth.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" he said. "I am, but I think I might be here for a while - you may as well get off."

"Okay" she replied doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow."

"All right." She began to walk back to her cubicle to get her stuff.

"Are you all right getting home?" 

"Yeah" she replied, smiling a little at his concern.

"See you."

He walked into CJ’s office reluctantly, hoping to waste a few minutes talking to Carol. However, the Press Secretary’s assistant sent him straight in. "She’s waiting for you."

"Great."

When he walked in she was leaning against her desk with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

"Come in Joshua."

He closed the door warily behind him. "Leo sent me to you for an ass kicking, didn’t he?"

"The ass kicking is optional," she said with a wry grin. "But I think he sent you to look at my photo collection."

"Your photo collection?"

"Sit down, mi amigo."

"Okay" said Josh, very puzzled. He sat on her very comfy couch; annoyed that Donna wouldn’t let him get one.

CJ fished into her bookshelf and came out with a polythene pocket full of photographs.

"Please don’t tell me they’re all of me and Donna."

"Don’t flatter yourself Josh." She picked out one photo and put it on her desk. "That’s of Sam."

"But the rest...?"

"Watch and learn, Joshua." She tipped the contents onto his lap. 

"Wow." He looked at the literally dozens of photos, all of him and Donna, all the same but in slightly different positions and at slightly different times, all on Air Force 1 or pre-Administration in some random plane. They were asleep in every one, him with his arms wrapped around her, her practically sitting on him. "How could I never have known that you took these?"

"You were asleep at the time Josh, I don’t know if you noticed that."

"Yeah, but...why?"

"It’s cute! After a while it became like a contest - to take a picture of you on every trip. Look at it Josh - it is cute."

He looked back down at the photos in his hands. Okay, so he wasn’t the kind of guy who would generally use the words ‘cute’ or ‘sweet’, but he had to admit there was something endearing about the photographs. Just looking at them he felt calm and relaxed, exactly how he did when she was in his arms...

"It’s not just for her," he said, to no one. He had come to a sudden realization.

"What?"

"That’s why Leo sent me here isn’t it?" He began to put the photos back into the polythene packet. He had to think clearly. "I had to realize that."

"Realize what, Josh?" CJ asked, but it sounded more like she was prompting him rather than actually asking.

"I thought I did it just for her, but I don’t. I do it for me too. I hate to leave her alone on planes, like that time to Portland, I can’t stand not being there, and it actually physically hurts me not to put my arms round her."

"I know" CJ smiled.

"That’s why Leo thinks it’s a problem! It’s not because of the press, the press have known about this thing forever and they don’t care, it’s because of me! He wants **me** to realise what this means to **me**."

CJ was smiling at him like he was a 5 year-old who had just recited the alphabet. "Josh, let me tell you what happened today."

5 hours earlier, AF1, Florida to D.C.

The Senior Staff were gathered in a meeting room aboard the President’s private plane. Josh, Toby and CJ were having a celebratory beer; Josh and Donna were sharing, as always. 

Donna was fearing for her share of the bottle when Josh jumped up and down with elation whilst managing to conduct a serious conversation on the other end of the on-board phone. ("I still don’t get how these work" he had complained a few hours before.)

"Yessss!" he mouthed, as Donna rescued the Bud light from his flailing grip.

"Thank you" he said, trying to contain himself. "Yes, thank you. Goodbye."

"Yess!" he shouted, slamming the phone down.

"It’s done?" asked CJ.

"It’s sewn up, baby. 20 votes! 20 votes, Donna."

"Yes Josh."

"And he’s gonna get the other two to agree?" clarified Toby, wearing a rare smile.

"You bet. 734 is in the bag. 20 votes!" he repeated ecstatically.

Just then Sam ran into the room. "Guys! I just got off the phone with Tillinghouse’s aide. 734 is sewn up."

They looked at him. "We’re there already, Sam," said Josh.

"What?" Sam looked puzzled. "How can you be? I just got off the phone with Tillinghouse’s aide."

"We just got off the phone with Tillinghouse."

"Oh." He sat down dejectedly. "I don’t think Tillinghouse likes me very much."

Toby stood up. "You can redraft your Christmas card list later, Sam. Let’s go let Leo know."

"Okay."

CJ, Sam and Toby made to leave. Josh stood up too. "Guys, I’m gonna stay here."

"You sure? " asked CJ. Josh had been one of the point men on 734, she thought he would want to be there when they gave Leo the news. 

"Yeah, I’m good here."

"Okay." They left.

Josh sat heavily next to Donna with a world-weary sigh. He turned to her with a tired grin. "20 votes, Donna."

She grinned back. "I heard the first time, Joshua."

"Just checking."

She smiled at him again, drained the beer bottle and set it on the desk next to her.

His face took on a more serious expression. "How are you doing?"

"Fine. As I have been for a couple years now."

"I know. You’ve come far."

"Yes." 

He yawned, causing her to do the same. It had been a long day. 

"Come here" he said, opening his arms.

She slid into them without hesitation, and within minutes they were both asleep.

Therefore, neither of them heard CJ when she came back in a few seconds later. 

"Did I leave the press packs in here? Honestly, if my head weren’t..."

She broke off as she realized the two of them were dead to the world. She was standing there, smiling, shaking her head in wonder when Leo walked in.

"CJ, I wanted to remind you..." He too stopped short when he noticed his deputy and his assistant. "What are they like?"

"Don’t worry about it Leo" CJ reassured him. "The press know better than to disturb that wasp’s nest. Although..."

"What?"

"I did get some questions from the newest reporters."

"Did you?"

"Yeah."

Leo shook his head. "That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m sure they don’t have a clue what’s going on."

"I’m sure they don’t.

"Maybe they need to wake-up."

"No, don’t, they look so peaceful...oh." CJ shut her eyes in embarrassment. "I get it. You’re speaking metaphorically."

"Yeah."

"You think it’s time to have that chat?"

"I really do. Remind me to see him when we get back."

"For a wake-up call?" CJ smiled.

"Yeah."

"It’s about time."

It was only when they were getting out of the motorcade back in D.C. that Leo saw the reminder that CJ had handed him at the Air Base.

_Talk to him about ‘that’._

**CJ Cregg’s office, White House**

"So that’s what this whole thing was about?" Josh asked. "You’re trying to get me to admit my feelings for Donna?"

"I think you should go back to Leo now" said CJ, standing up.

He stood up too. "I feel kinda like a pinball tonight."

"Go."

"Okay."

"Joshua" she called, when he was almost out the door. "Congratulations in advance."

"Thanks CJ."

"Leo." Josh greeted his boss.

"Josh."

He walked into the office, shutting the door behind him. "I think I see what you were getting at before."

Leo grinned wryly. "Took you long enough."

"Well," Josh looked at his watch. "Hour and a half, give me a break."

"Wake up, Josh. It’s didn’t take you an hour and a half! It took you four years."

"I guess it did."

"So..."

"So...what?" asked Josh, thoroughly confused. 

"Aren’t you gonna do something about it?"

Josh sighed and sat down on his couch. "Leo, I don’t even know what ‘it’ is yet - I haven’t got my head round it yet."

"What’s there to get your head round?"

"I...I...can’t..."

"Listen" Leo sat down beside his deputy. "Don’t you think -"

"I don’t think! That’s the point! I don’t think about this, because when I do it makes me want to tear my hair out!"

"Why?"

"I don’t know. I think...I think I’m just too scared that I’ll mess things up if I do anything about it."

"You know, just because you mess everything else up doesn’t mean you’ll mess this up."

"Thanks, Leo, you picked me right up there."

"No problem."

Josh got up and began to pace again. "I don’t know...are you sure about this? I mean would this really not be a problem."

"The press doesn’t care that much about you Josh. Stop using your ego as an excuse!"

"I’m not!...An excuse for what?"

"I don’t know! For feeding whatever internal juvenile psychotic insecurities you’ve been picking up over the years."

"We’ve never... I mean...Donna and me..." he could hear Sam correcting him in his head. "...Donna and I, we’ve never talked about this."

"Then don’t you think you should?"

"Yes sir."

Leo watched as his deputy fled the room and allowed himself a small grin. 

"That’s your son Noah. What a man."

Josh was almost at his car when he realised he’d forgotten...everything. His coat, his bag, his papers, he’d left everything in his office. He flashed an embarrassed grin at the confused agent on reception and turned back towards his office.

Good thing he came back, he thought. He’d left a light on. But even as he approached the slightly office door he sensed he was not alone.

"Donna."

She was sitting at his desk, head bent over a paper she had spread out in front of her. At his voice she looked up and greeted him with a smile. "Hey."

"Hey" Josh replied, puzzled. "I thought I told you to go home?"

"Since when did I follow orders, Josh?"

"Since it meant you got to go home early."

She snorted. "I wouldn’t call it early exactly."

He walked further into his office and closed the door behind him, creating a more private atmosphere. "Why’d you stay?"

She shrugged. "I go when you go."

He frowned; realising there was something else. "And?"

Her voice took on a more serious tone. "And...I thought there might be something wrong. You seemed kinda agitated before."

"I was fine. Just having a few things pointed out to me."

"Care to share?"

This was what Josh had every intention of doing, but something was stopping him. He was...he couldn’t believe it, was he actually scared? Yeah, that checked out. He was petrified. He wished there were a single word he could just blurt out, so that she would understand instantly, like "Sagittarius".

But this was nowhere near as simple as that. There were things he had to explain, and to do that he had to go right back to the beginning, right back to-

"Buffalo" he said. Okay, so it wasn’t as good as Sagittarius, but it would get the job done.

A flicker of understanding shone in her eyes. It passed, but there was no denying she knew what he was referring to. She sat up straight in his chair. "What about it?"

"Um...Leo wanted to speak to me about it."

Donna was puzzled. "Leo wanted to speak to you about Buffalo? Leo wasn’t even there."

Okay, so it didn’t exactly get the job done...

"Well" Josh cleared his throat and walked around the side of the desk. "Not so much about Buffalo, more about what happened..."

"Nothing happened!"

"I know!" Josh cleared his throat again. He was messing this up with a considerable amount of skill. "I’m sorry, I’m speaking in riddles."

"Yes, you are" Donna was almost laughing at his discomfort.

"He wasn’t talking about Buffalo, in fact he was talking about today and every other time we’re on a plane, and what we do..."

Her smile quickly vanished. "Oh...Josh, I’m sorry, I..."

"Hey" he sat on the edge of the desk so he was right in front of her. "It’s okay. He wasn’t mad about it."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah. He just...wanted me to realise a couple of things."

She frowned. "What things?"

"Why we do it." He smiled at her.

"Why we..." 

"I always thought I just did it for you. To help you."

She nodded; that’s what she had always thought too. He had always been there for her.

He reached over and took her hands, praying that this wasn’t the stupidest thing he’d ever done. "But Donna, I do it because I have to too, because ever since Buffalo, actually ever since you walked into my life, I’ve never wanted to let you go."

She felt herself well up, she couldn’t help it. "Josh..."

"Wait" he held up a hand and laughed. "I’m sorry, you’re gonna say I love the sound of my own voice, but I just really need to say this."

"Okay."

"It hasn’t just been me holding you Donna. After Rosslyn, after Christmas, you were holding me together too, and I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t. You know, CJ has all these photos...I guess they made me realise what everyone else has seen all this time...I love you Donna."

"Josh..."

"I...don’t know what else to say...I’m kind of hoping you’ll fill the gap..."

"Joshua..." She breathed. "I don’t know what to say. Well, I mean, I do" she quickly amended, seeing his face. "I mean, I love you too. I just never thought that we’d be able to..."

"I know" he grinned. "But we can. If you want to" he added quickly.

She laughed, wondering how he could possibly doubt her feelings for her. Standing up, she took his face in his hands and kissed him, gently at first, but deeper as he stood up and gathered her up in his arms.

"Donnatella" he whispered as they finally broke apart.

She gazed into his happy brown eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank God for Buffalo."


End file.
